Friday, December 16, 2016


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Age : 20 I have some tiny feelings for my married 38 yo professor,
and of course I never ever did something about it. But then I started noticing that my professor is avoiding my existence in the university outside the Lecture and sometimes acting a little cold to me :(. When he sees me around the university he will try to act like he didn’t see me even though he did,
and if it's possible, he will change his way/direction to not be at the same place with me!
He mostly won't make eye contact with me outside the Lecture & It feels so awkward talking to him outside the Lecture most of the time. when we are in the Lecture, of course, he will answer my questions about the course,
he will look at me pretty long when I ask him about some things,
when he explains to me and when he teach us sometimes,
even the student that was next to me once noticed and complained to me "why he is only looking at you?! ><". The last (and probably the only) time he talked to me (and was the one who started)
was asking me about my mark in my homework (which was 15/20)
something was really not necessary in the situation back then,
but I felt like he cares slightly about me,
because we don't really talk much with each other,
we are not close professor and student,
and I felt that he tried to tell me not to be sad about my mark and even encouraging me indirectly
(by saying it's pretty good mark)
in a way that really felt so warm and his eyes and face were really soft and caring( it was heart fluttering!).
Yet even after that he is still avoiding me.
He is confusing me, and I am afraid that he knows about my feelings that's why he is avoiding me. What do you think?

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